Problems with fire-breathing pest? , overly grown lizards won't leave you alone? Well you can rest assured !
With our newest product "How Not to Train your Dragon" this easy four step guide wrote by the most noticeably experts on draconem behavior and biology will teach you all what you need to get rid of that reptilian menace.
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Draconem (A really huge Serpent) |
Lesson #1 Do not show fear
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| That's what happens when you fail lesson 1... |
Dragons doesn't react well in the presence of fear , they tend to attack when they know they are superior (which happens 95% of the time)
Lesson # 2 DO NOT , under any circumstances take any treasure or belongings from a dragon....EVER!
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| Oh..you just...had to do it..don't you? |
Dragons are really possessive , specially with shiny things so don't even think about touching them!
Lesson # 3 Do not try to show of your comedy skills
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| Not even Pinkie Pie could make a dragon laugh.. |
Final Lesson The dumbest thing you could possible do is fighting a dragon ( no..having an armor and a lance won't work either...well maybe a talking donkey would..)
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| Dumbest thing you could do....ever.. |
Dragons are extremely strong creature that posses abundant magical powers and sharp claws and teeth , capable of rip-off armors with ease. Avoid fighting with them at all cost...unless you are some sort of legendary Nordic demi-god or a spiked flame controlling Asian magician or something similar..
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| Unless you are him |
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| Or him...I pretty much suggest you to avoid dragons |
The best way to confront a stubborn dragon that have nest in your town or village is:
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| Show Confidence! (the death stare is optional) |
Big reptiles can't deal went confronted (like most bullies) when their threatening appearance is not enough to freeze someone they get scared and don't know what to do.
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| Talking with authority and conviction |
That way the dragons will realize that now he was to go and try to chew on you and most likely you will fight and squirm and scream...it would be too bothersome and he would avoid it.
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| Be kind..(no seriously..kindness can do great things) |
In the end dragons are just misunderstood creatures , it's not like they can simple go and purchase at any store or restaurant...not even try to get clothes their size..
So now you know if you have a roaring dragon nearby you can use this valuable knowledge and get rid of that reptilian nuisance yourself!...or do what most sane people would do and call this 2 experts:
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| Expert Number One Hiccup |
Doesn't have much strength but has years of experience training and breeding dragons , being one of the most renowned experts on the field , plus he doesn't charge.. (don't try to contact him via Facebook or Twitter tho..)
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| Expert Number Two Fluttershy |
Fluttershy is an expert animal caretaker as a...well animal...herself she is known to be able to tame almost all types of creatures. Don't let her fragile look and shy personality fool you she is very much capable of take down a bear single handed and control a mischief spirit of chaos...(just avoid getting her angry or assertive...)
P.S. We will still charge you 99.99 bits
LOVED IT! As a How To Train Your Dragon Fan, this article was creative, humorous, and enjoyable for me to read. I loved the reference on Shrek, by the way! I look forward to more :D
ReplyDeleteThanks Ducky we will surely get more of this :3~
DeleteAlso glad you got my little Shrek Reference there , hope to see you around more owo